The ape-man cometh


(Image courtesyClicked by this blogger’s little brat in Hyderabad’s MMTS . Forgive the slightly blurred text — he wouldn’t wait for the train to stop moving.)

So some  fly-by-night outfit that offers to transform apes into ‘cool dudes’. Gah.  I can’t shake off the feeling that it’s an appalling insult to the good apes. I mean, did they ask the apes if they wanted to become men? (And, was  becoming woman even an option?)

So you’re thinking what a ridiculously trite flyer (which it is), but I urge you to look deeper. Last I heard, the evolution of apes into man is OVER, communication skills or no communication skills, so they’re now two distinct  species (debatable, I grant).  Surely they must know that? Which must mean that this is actually some sinister scheme to morph apes into men. Only, it seems, thankfully. Or wait. Since there’s no clue to the sex of the ape, is there some sex change involved,  too?

The mind boggles.

Do cast your eye on the last two lines. No, not on that orphan comma (although it nearly caused this blogger apoplexy) but that word Erragadda. As Hyderabad locaals know very well, saying that someone/something is at/from Erragadda always elicits a knowing smile. For outsiders — well, acute PC-itis prevents my telling you what that means, unfortunately.

On a serious note: There ought to be a law against absurd claims that ‘communication skills’  are some kind of miraculous mantra, meaning merely ‘Spoken English.’  The number of people who buy that is seriously unfunny.


Postscript:  Post dedicated to The Quirky One, who would have done greater justice. Verily.



  1. Quirky Indian said

    You are too kind, SS. Thank you for that endorsement. (Not that I necessarily agree with it, though!)

    So they want to make me a man….but I’m quite happy being an ape.

    I know we’ve had long discussions on this in the past, but look at the horribly politically incorrect message implicit in the poster: if you don’t know English, you’re an ape.

    And you’re right, there are enough gullible people to have made this a fairly successful business. Since 1995.


    Quirky Indian

  2. Prasanth said

    Hmm..put an end to the practice or regulate it? The product is definitely bad but the need is real enough.

    Of course, ‘spoken english’ should ideally be a responsibility of the school system, but in the many years before the ‘necesary’ school system actually reaches many parts of India, we need something as a stop gap measure.
    Something more for Mr. Sibal to think about.

  3. QI
    🙂 Absolutely right about the politically incorrect bit, but PC or no PC, it’s a perception that clearly finds favour among many, no?

    Thanks for that thoughtful pointer. Yes, in deriding such organizations I must not overlook the role our ed. sys. has played in fostering them.

    However, are such org directed by their understanding of such flaws in the system, or by a ‘notion’ of what the MNC/BPO sector requires? I suspect the latter, which is why their focus is usually on ghastly accents/PowerPoint/arranging your limbs. The image says it all, no?Appearance is all!

  4. Intotaky said


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